The Peak Millennial

 I've tried to stay off social media for the better part of the last two weeks. I won't lie, I feel much like an addict going through withdrawal. Mostly because I am. I've had had my Facebook account since 2005 or 2006. Back when you had to have a .edu/college email to sign up. Somehow, despite the recent and continuous sanctions Zucc keeps retroactively enforcing, I still have my original account 16-17 years later.

Right now this is the longest I've ever deactivated in this decade in a half. As, the name suggests, I am the Peak Millennial. I'm 34 years old. I've got two bachelors degrees. I'm currently unemployed due to the pandemic and have been since October of 2021. August of 2020 saw me lose my father and since then I've lost the bulk of my BoomXer maternal family for setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries such as, please consult me before making decisions on my behalf, especially when I'm working 50 hours a week. I will admit here that in situation was under an enormous amounts of stress and when that happens things, that otherwise wouldn't, sometimes happen. That said, when confronted, the adult thing to do is to not double down, but to admit fault and apologize. This is something my maternal family struggles with. Hell, this is something I still struggle with, but I try to be aware of of it. I try to apologize when I've hurt someone like that.  

Social media didn't help during the pandemic. Social media just isolated someone who was already lonely, depressed, and suffering from a whole host of mental & chronic health issues. The first thing most of us do when we wake up is turn off the alarm and check our preferred social media of choice. Being in my mid 30s, mine is Facebook. And well I think webcomic_name says it better than I ever could...

credit: www.webcomic.com

It really doesn't matter what social media you're on, it's all one massive doom scroll after another. Honestly, that's kind of what it feels like being an Elder Millennial. Just one massive doom scroll after another. Does anyone else feel like that? I don't even know if anyone will read this blog. Who knows? 

It does feel good being off social media, but for the occasional odd snapchat here and there. My house is the cleanest it's been in ages. I don't know if it's the new antidepressant I've started or the being off social media or both maybe?...but it's like the clutter I've been avoiding just doesn't seem that overwhelming anymore. All the sudden my brain can see it and it knows how to organize it. I've been able to do more since Tuesday than I have in probably years. I know some of this is also due in part to finally being properly re-diagnosed as ADHD. But it's more than that, that re-diagnosis (a story for another day) was 5 months ago. This, this is I think my depression finally lifting a bit. It does leave me a bit guilty. But I know my dad wouldn't want me to grieve forever. 

I do miss a bit of the anonymous social interaction of the Facebook groups, but I think instead of reading that kind of drama, I'm going to try to start reading-reading again. It's been a long time since I've been able to just read for enjoyment and I used to read 4-8 books a month depending on how long/how much free time I had.

It just feels like my brain is clearing. I hope.